Hot Like Ebola!!!: Fact 10: I Am Really Frickin' Tall

Apparently, anyway. At 6'0", finding jeans (or work pants or scrubs, but that's another story) is a fairy tale legend that simply doesn't come true.

It has been nearly impossible, as of a few years ago, to buy pants. Thrift stores, Ross, Wal-Mart or Old Navy? You must be kidding. Even their men's jeans come about 3 inches above the ankle.

There was a time that Express sold long pants that were actually long, but those days are gone now. Even when they did sell them, they were of a nature that they called "very very low rise", and I called, "why do you need to wax your bikini area to put on your jeans?"

And the Gap, which sold me the best pair of jeans I've ever owned (36" long, medium rise, stretch), no longer sells their flare stretch. Instead, they sell the gap "curvy" jeans.

Here's the problem. I'm not curvy. Well, let me rephrase that. I have several curves on my body. The chest curve, the calves curve, the belly fat curve. I just don't have the hips/butt curve. Which, incidentally, is precisely the kind of curve for which these Gap jeans are built. I liked the stretch not for my curves, but for ease of movement in the saddle and in everyday life.

So ever since my Most Beloved Gap Jeans bit the dust (read: 10" holes on the inside of each thigh, due no doubt to too many hours in the saddle), I have been fruitlessly searching for a pair of jeans.

Now, about 4 months ago, a very tall friend of mine (she's 2" taller than me) told me about a mythical, fantastical store called Buckle. She has bought a few pairs of jeans there, and made the outrageous claim that Their Tall Jeans Are Actually For Tall People.

Now, I have heard this claim before. "Look, these are tall length! That's at least a 32" inseam!" Ok, those come about mid-calf to me. It's not going to happen, people. But I had a hunch with Taller Friend. Her pants did, indeed, seem Long to me. So I went online.

I did indeed find long pants at Buckle. VERY long pants. 35", 36", 37" inseams. It was like the long jeans candy store. Except for one small issue. The price!

Now, I am firmly in the camp that jeans shouldn't cost more than about 25-30 bucks. It has been about 10 years since a pair of jeans fell into my lap at that price, but I just figured I had to put out to get pants due to my freakishly long legs. But 100 dollars? gasp. I just... can't...

So today, I sucked up all my courage (and much of Jasmine's) at went into our mall's Buckle. The nice, hipster young man eyed me suspiciously as I followed my frizzy pouf of hair into the store.

"Can I help you, ma'am?" Ouch. Just 'cause I'm 3 years older than you, do I really need to get called ma'am?

"Well, I've heard a rumor that people can come in here and get pants. Looong pants." I felt like some sort of underhanded deal was about to take place. They can't just sell these things on the open market, you know?

Much to my surprise, he promptly turned around and started pulling jeans off the rack. Many pairs. About 20 pairs, actually. I started feeling dizzy at the sight of so much artfully destroyed denim, but he saw my pallor and ushered me into a changing room.

Wow. These jeans are LONG. I mean, they touch the Ground. Real ground! I made a small yet victorious sound and looked up at the mirror. My heart sank.

I think they got all that extra material for the bottom of the pants from the top of them. Actually, those were Matt's words, but they described the situation perfectly. I had at least 5.5 inches from my belly button to the waistband. At least.

"Uh, sir? Do you have something with, like, a higher rise?" I asked casually, while pulling on these jeans like a toddler with training pants.

"Well, all of our jeans are lower rises, but try these: they're a little less so."

I tried them. I liked them. Sure, the fronts are full of small holes and the back pockets are ripped off, but they didn't show anything too inappropriate.

Cost? $68.

I have yet to but them, but the temptation is growing in my mind.

:: submitted by Jenevieve, 3:41 AM
id="comments">9 Comments:

in the old country we had many yeans, one day we had to fight the yeans because they had grown too numerous, they yeans won, don't ya know, and now we are captive to all the yeans and they make us grown beans

Andrew Seely, at 12:09 PM

uh...huh...

Jenevieve, at 5:45 PM

3rd paragraph last word.

Andrew Seely, at 10:50 PM

well tall friend, you know I'm in the "$20, you must be joking camp" but I guess if they are going to last and you don't have any others you might as well bite the bullet once you can afford it. Or wait till you get to scotland and can go to H&M. I don't know whether they have tall sizes, but they are cheaper.

Miranda, at 4:46 AM

Alright, Drew, it's fixed. What the crap is a yean and why didn't spellcheck see it?

Jenevieve, at 11:10 PM

click here

Andrew Seely, at 2:57 PM

dude, you are tall! if it makes you feel any better I'm short and curvy and can't find jeans that fit either. exactly who are they making all these jeans for??

Anonymous, at 3:53 PM

You should buy them. If you're like me, you live in jeans and in a couple of months it will come out to about a cent per day. Does that help? You gotta have jeans that fit!

Anonymous, at 9:29 PM

this is off topic, but do you know this blog? she is awesome and in edinburgh http://langavitleysa.blogspot.com/

Anonymous, at 3:28 PM

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