Hot Like Ebola!!!: Warning: This Post Uses The Word "Crap" A Lot

So after this morning, when by my post you could tell I was feeling up and ready to face the day, I went to work. I looked at the book and saw that I had six dogs scheduled. This is usually okay, except 5 of the dogs were doom-hairy (3 Golden Retrievers, 1 Newfoundland, and 1 Samoyed). So, I start working on the dogs, and the other bather walks back into the bathing area and says, "Oh Jeni, I just booked you these 3 walk-ins." WHAT?!?!?!? I was already going to be late, then 3 more dogs?!? Anyway, these dogs were all shorthaired (1 Pug, 1 Miniature Pinscher, and 1 American Staffordshire Terrier (aka Pit Bull)).

So, I figured while the medicated shampoo was sitting on my first golden, I would wash the pit bull. I wash her, and she is very sweet. I put her back in the kennel and finish washing the golden, then get out the Samoyed, who promptly bites me. As I'm getting a muzzle, I walk past the kennels when the scent of dog crap hits me. I look down, and my pit bull has crapped all over herself. After I finish the Samoyed, I get the pit bull back out and wash her again, then put her back in the kennel. I wash the pug and min pin with no egregious episodes, but as I'm walking them back to the kennels, the odor hits me again. Yep, the pit had crapped again. So I wash and dry her again, tether her in the grooming area (because I figured the kennels were making her nervous), then call her owner to say, "Hey. You need to pick up your dog, because she's so scared she's crapping herself."

As I'm making that call (to no answer, which drives me nuts. Honestly, when we ask for a number we can reach you at, we mean it. We won't just call to chat.), Tricia says "Oh, Crap!" Well, she's right. Again. But this time, it's bloody, explosive diarrhea. I struggle to maintain composure, but as I am cleaning it up, I lose it and run into the back to puke. Sorry if that makes me seem weaker, but that's the way it is. Anyway, As I'm harfing in the back, I realize that the symptoms this dog is experiencing are very, VERY similar to the disease Parvo, and I become very worried. Parvo is highly contagious, and the dogs in the salon are not required to be vaccinated against it. So I stop everything and tell the salon manager, who calls the vet in to look at the diarrhea. The vet says, "this looks like a Parvo dog." So now everyone is freaked out, and we mop everything in bleach and use a spray disinfectant to boot (my throat is still burning from the spray). The store director just stands there, looking annoyed, and yells, "Someone! Put that dog in a kennel!" Well, some brave soul (K___) picked up the diarrhea-covered dog and tried to get it in a kennel, at which time it let loose another explosion- all over that associate. She actually took off her clothes in the back and hosed herself off right there. She didn't puke, though.

At this point, it is 5:15, the three goldens (of which I have washed 1) are due out at 6:15, and I am wigging out. I call their owners and beg for an extension. I then wash the other two dogs (after doing almost an entire body shave on one because the mats are so bad) and dry them. Their owner walks in just as I am finishing, and they go. Now it is 7:00 and I have an hour to finish the samoyed and the newfie. I am so frazzled that I forget to call the newfie's owner, who shows up at 8 to a dog that is still soaking wet. I am able to dry and finish it by 8:30 (a miracle), at which point I return it to the kind and understanding owner, who gives me a ten-dollar tip. That was the good thing.

I look around for the groomer who is supposed to close with me just as the store director walks in. "Oh, H____ left about 35 minutes ago. She said you could handle it by yourself. This place looks like a mess!" Just so you know, the closing chores take two people about an hour to do. There is one of me and half an hour. I do the best I can (at this point so frustrated that I don't really care about leaving it a mess), and leave. I bring home a bottle of disinfectant, stand in the shower, and pour it over my fully-clothed self. I don't think that stuff is really meant for hair or skin contact, as I think about it. I rinse of, use 1/2 a bottle of lotion, and type this post.

Yeah, I'm in a great mood now. Someone kill me, please. Just follow the smell of disinfectant.

:: submitted by Jenevieve, 5:12 AM
id="comments">5 Comments:

Well, at least it was only the odor of crap that hit you. It could have been a hell of a lot worse, you know.