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    • 02 December 2004
    0 pathogens detected
    Alright, so I know Matt posted this on his blog last january, but i just found it and remembered how hilarious it was. This was the "first draft" of a paper for human ecology that he wrote. The subject of the paper was reasons for population growth:

    There are a lot of people in the world. Humans have been reproducing for as long as they have been on this earth. Reproducing results in children. When these children grow up they turn into humans just like the humans who produced them. At this point the children, who are now humans, reproduce creating more children which will eventually become humans. Eventually these humans will die, but that is a different story. Actually, it’s the same story, but it’s written on the back of the page. When humans die they become detritus. Some lucky people even become humus, but like I said, that’s a different story. The story we are on now is actually the same story, but written on the front of the page. And it’s in a different language. The language of love. And ecology. People generally do not love ecology because it is science and people have a natural and well founded fear and hatred of science. At this point it is important to differentiate between people and humans. It has been proven that people are always humans, but humans are not always people, unless they were once children, in which case they are no longer children anymore, unless they were just recently born, or produced. When two humans make children, that is called ‘producing’. When their children become humans, or alternatively people depending on the latitude, and make new children, that is called ‘reproducing’. The next generation is called ‘threeproducing’ and so on and so on. At this point it becomes important to know the difference between ketchup and catsup. Contrary to popular belief, catsup contains very little raw feline material. And this lack of feline material is what has led to population growth.

    Yep, he's mine!
    :: submitted by Jenevieve, 4:38 PM
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